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April 23, 2012
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And still yet more Internet Fauna by Allison-beriyani And still yet more Internet Fauna by Allison-beriyani
Welcome to yet another edition of internet fauna! Today we have some of the more common species of social networking sites!

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Critiuqer: This shy creature is a symbiont to most internet species, grooming and removing anything negative from whatever the other user might proffer to them. most critiquers are quite gentle, but some can be very harsh, and depending on the trouble an standard user is having, both can be very helpful. Originally thought to be related to the hacker, further studies have proven that this is merely a case of analogous features (similarities in unrelated organisms due to similar environment- like how sharks and dolphins looks similar, but aren't related related), and that critiquer's closest relative is the Go-To.

Rage-Bomber: The natural predator to critiquers and the friendly Got-To. This strange animal actually enjoys being enraged, and seeks out opportunities to be offended and explode it's volatile hindquarters. While this does result in tremendous butthurt for the Bomber, it's target prey is usually decimated, and the much smaller rage-bobmer can happily feed on them.

Hovering Commenter: This creature wobbles the fine line between symbiant and parasite. The hovering commenter likes to follow around assorted other fauna and comment on everything the creature might do. "that oatmeal sure looks tasty!" is a common refrain. When the user responds to the commenter, it feeds it attention, and the Commenter uses it's suction-cup like tail to latch onto the user. while often irritating, the positive-feedback-loop of attention can be very helpful to certain lonely fauna, like Role-Players and Harmless Creepers.

Ban-Evader: One of the most despised pests on the internet, this warty little creature is the bane of moderators everywhere. while incredibly fragile, this creature has adapted to the Moderator's lethal banhammer by "deactivating" it's existence in that particular instance of space-time, and re-appearing elsewhere. It's greatest predator is the Common Internet Troll, who relishes the chase of this creature, and is quite adept at finding it when it vanishes. Some Moderators (which normally hunt trolls) have gotten clever, and selectively cull the trolls in their domain, leaving the ones that are particularly good at hunting ban-evaders alive to breed.

Fetishist: A curious breed of Common Pervert that has become enamored of some object or behavior not normally within the realm of sexual behavior. some colonies of fetishists have become so vast that thier obsessions have now become "normal". Generally harmless, even if their behavior makes one never look at balloons the same way again...

Cutievore: One of the most common herbivores on the internet the Cutievore lives for one thing only: the consumption of all things cute. Pictures of baby animals, flowers, sappy poems, LOLcats, lacy things with bows, fluff fanfiction, knitted paraphernalia, all will go down the gaping gullet of this beast. Since consumption does not equal destruction on the internet, the Cutivore is one of the great fertilizers of the Internets. It's demand for all things cute causes vast plains to be seeded with such items, which create a safe haven for many other internet users, who seed the area with more intellectually stimulating content, enriching the environment until creatures like Trolls and moderators can survive. The only danger a cutievore can create is when it sticks it's demanding maw into a tube too small to provide enough content, thus cloggin it, and creating a warp in the delicate fabric of the internet. Fortunately, they will easily move thier maws if presented with pictures of baby ducks or suchlike off to the side, in a larger tube.
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:iconcadaverknight:
CadaverKnight Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2014
I think I'm guilty of being a ban evader back when I played tf2 I changed my name to others constantly.
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:icondashie89115:
dashie89115 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014
fetish is reminds me of scp 999
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:iconblack-angel-dan:
Black-Angel-Dan Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Student Writer
You had the derps whilst writing Rage-Bomber! :noes:
Three typos. o.O A fourth one in fetishist.
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Yike! I had way more than that- thanks for telling me!
Reply
:iconblack-angel-dan:
Black-Angel-Dan Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Student Writer
Well, I only briefly checked it. And you're welcome. Couldn't resist using that joke anyway. :D
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:iconbritkit10:
britkit10 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Cutievore Hovering Commentor
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
OM NOM KNITTED TARDIS?

And I don't mind the comments.
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:iconbritkit10:
britkit10 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE BEST THING EVER
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
I have friends who need to post things so I can Introduce them to you...
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:iconbritkit10:
britkit10 Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
WAT
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