Today we talk about the plight of one of the Internet's rarest creatures: the Elusive Teal Deer, more commonly known as the TL;DR.
This gentle beast lives in vast forests of text, browsing on the knowledge contained therein. If one is brave enough to forge though these nigh-impenetrable text-walls, the Teal Deer will often grant great wisdom or much-needed epiphanies, and even help you pass that impossible English course you signed up for.
But this species is in great peril from the twin threats of Habitat fragmentation and degradation- firstly, the size of the average unit of text has decreased exponentially since the advent of twitter, face book and the social custom that it is remotely polite to respond to some one else with a single letter. Also, the few text walls that remain are mostly the incoherent ramblings of Immature Dramatis Personae or the Lunacy of conspiracy nuts- very poor forage for the knowledge-hungry Teal Deer. The establishment of the Wikipedia Knowledge Preserve helped the species greatly, but they still suffer from over-predation from trolls and Malicious Know-it-Alls.
How can you help? Be re-seeding the Internet with it's natural Habitat. In one's Journal or other appropriate forum for large posts, create well-researched, coherent write-ups of interesting subjects that might help someone else out- how to repair the tension on a sewing machine, a description of an exotic species of bird, or an analysis of the works of Chaucer- the topics are literally as wide as the world. You can also encouge the Teal Deer to find new habitats by taking the time to read though text walls and adding to their content.
If we all work together to make the internet a better place, we can save this beautiful creature.
I am also somewhat sad to report that this will be that last Installment of Internet Fauna- UNTIL I PUBLISH THE FABULOUS BOOK I'M MAKING FOR YOU ALL!!! I will be releasing some additional content at the time of promotion, but please, please, PLEASE, Help me make a living at this artist thing and buy my entirely reasonably-priced book when it comes out, Okay?