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Internet Fauna: Endangered Species by Allison-beriyani Internet Fauna: Endangered Species by Allison-beriyani
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Today we talk about the plight of one of the Internet's rarest creatures: the Elusive Teal Deer, more commonly known as the TL;DR.

This gentle beast lives in vast forests of text, browsing on the knowledge contained therein. If one is brave enough to forge though these nigh-impenetrable text-walls, the Teal Deer will often grant great wisdom or much-needed epiphanies, and even help you pass that impossible English course you signed up for.

But this species is in great peril from the twin threats of Habitat fragmentation and degradation- firstly, the size of the average unit of text has decreased exponentially since the advent of twitter, face book and the social custom that it is remotely polite to respond to some one else with a single letter. Also, the few text walls that remain are mostly the incoherent ramblings of Immature Dramatis Personae or the Lunacy of conspiracy nuts- very poor forage for the knowledge-hungry Teal Deer. The establishment of the Wikipedia Knowledge Preserve helped the species greatly, but they still suffer from over-predation from trolls and Malicious Know-it-Alls.

How can you help? Be re-seeding the Internet with it's natural Habitat. In one's Journal or other appropriate forum for large posts, create well-researched, coherent write-ups of interesting subjects that might help someone else out- how to repair the tension on a sewing machine, a description of an exotic species of bird, or an analysis of the works of Chaucer- the topics are literally as wide as the world. You can also encouge the Teal Deer to find new habitats by taking the time to read though text walls and adding to their content.

If we all work together to make the internet a better place, we can save this beautiful creature.

I am also somewhat sad to report that this will be that last Installment of Internet Fauna- UNTIL I PUBLISH THE FABULOUS BOOK I'M MAKING FOR YOU ALL!!! I will be releasing some additional content at the time of promotion, but please, please, PLEASE, Help me make a living at this artist thing and buy my entirely reasonably-priced book when it comes out, Okay?
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:iconwizard101devinstale:
Wizard101DevinsTale Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
Wow, sure lives up to it's name XD I didn't bother reading all that text behind them XD
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:icondashie89115:
dashie89115 Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014
when is the next internet funa?
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:iconbitsincorporated:
bitsincorporated Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014
i am some kind of crazy hybrid between this guy,brony,cutievore and a standard user.
yeah,i'm an fucking aberration.
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:iconjeromy12:
Jeromy12 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014
Woah! Did you come up with that pronunciation of tl:dr? Very clever! 
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2014  Professional Traditional Artist
Nah, that's been around since the acronym was invented, I'm sure. I just Illustrated them in their natural habitat.
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:iconkrunner35:
KRunner35 Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This one is my favorite! I will gladly help these poor creatures out as I feel similar to them! LOL
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Excellent! What will you be writing about?
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:iconkrunner35:
KRunner35 Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Now that I think about......I have no idea....But I do plan on writing something, one day.....LOL
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:iconaldocrangle:
Aldocrangle Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2013
I can't wait for your Book If you can tell me where I can buy it I definitely will!!!
w00t!
 
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you very much, and I'll be sure to let you know!
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:iconaldocrangle:
Aldocrangle Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2013
Thanks :D
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:iconhomestuckobsessed:
HomestuckObsessed Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i want this book. very very very badly.
Reply
:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner May 19, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
It's slated to come out at the end of the year if the lawyer ever gets back to me.
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:iconhomestuckobsessed:
HomestuckObsessed Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ooo: i hope they hurry. ;u;
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner May 21, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Me too.
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:iconblack-angel-dan:
Black-Angel-Dan Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013  Student Writer
Question: what about hybrid species? Or would that be too much detail?
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Internet fauna are kind of like psychological roles (Student, parent, cook, aunt, etc.) that a user dons as they move about the internet, so a person could be a troll on one site, a teal deer on another, or adopt the features of both a fan and a Lulzcow on another. These roles act as creatures in an ecosystem, creating the general psychology/ecology of the internet.

Did that help answer your question?
Reply
:iconblack-angel-dan:
Black-Angel-Dan Featured By Owner Mar 18, 2013  Student Writer
Yeah, I could tell that this is the concept of it, and I must say as one who's sitting in an educational science class, had an interest in psychology ever since and wrote his term work on MMORPG's in relation to psychological aspects of playing and socialising, I had to inform myself some more than just general knowledge on cyberpsychology. I must say I do agree to the most part to your perceptions.

So, in a sense, yes, that does explain the way these "roles" are supposed to be understood.
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:icondino-mario:
Dino-Mario Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Just wondering,what role neonazi,racist and grammar nazi users play in Internet ecosystem??? BTW,i am not racist nor neonazi,we are all humans who deserve love and respect
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Neonazis and racists are types of Hate-ogre, and some of the main prey of trolls.

The creatures called grammar-nazis are actually two distinct but similar looking species- A Sub-species of Troll, and The Juvenile form of the Truth-Seeker, one of the most magnificent beasts in the. The troll is looking for Lulzcattle, which tend to lack senses of humor or humility. The Truth-seeker is trying to keep things clear and accurate. Accept the corrections of either.
Reply
:iconn3m0ck:
N3m0ck Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013
I wonder what does Mary Sues have a place in the Internet Fauna?
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
It's the infant stage of any well-designed character.
Creators have to really mess up before the can make masterpieces.
Reply
:iconn3m0ck:
N3m0ck Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013
How do these Sues play a part in the Internet ecosystem?
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
They're food, actually, much like Lolcats, strange videos, and the rest of the content in the tubes.

Authors are in a family known as "Content Creators", which act much like herbivores, consuming and seeding new content the way cows eat and fertilize grass(but usually with less crap). Other creatures higher up the food chain eat both Content and make use of the Creators by forming symbiotic or parasitic relationships with them.
Authors produce stories, poems, fan-fiction, and characters of their own. Mary-Sues are what young and inexperienced authors make, and while they're toxic or irritating to most creatures, there are certain kinds of Troll and Common Fan that thrive on them.
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:iconn3m0ck:
N3m0ck Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013
I want to see what they look like.
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Soon.
The book is coming out this year.
Reply
:icongrounde:
Grounde Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013
Hey, I have been drawing some internet fauna too, but I removed some things, changed the bodies, and names, you would not mind? Right?
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Um... It's okay, but It's a bit complicated.

I am Publishing a book of these, and they are getting a formal copyright. I don't see the drawings on your profile, so I can't tell exactly what you've done.

If you're coming up with your own that's absolutely fine- It's not like the idea is brand new, but for brand clarity, I'd really prefer if you'd come up a different name for them- Webeasts, for instance.

But if you're drawing MY creatures (i.e. My version of The Hacker or Lulzcow) I'd like credit as the original creator. This is as simple as a sentence in the artist's comments with a link to my profile or original work.

It makes me very, very happy that I've inspired you and I look forward to seeing your work, but I do need credit if credit is due.
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:icongrounde:
Grounde Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2013
Nonono, I'll be putting other names, removing adding, (Ex. I will remove pedo, and other sexuals.) Edit creatures (Ex. Lulzcow isn't a cow, it is a cat, with bigger propotions.) and add more (Guests, anons, etc.) and won't upload it to deviantart.
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Those are fine, and L'd love it if you uploaded them- I'd like to see what you come up with.
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:icongrounde:
Grounde Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013
Yeah, I'll love too, but my computer only has a printer and they don't sell scanners much, so, I guess I can't.
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Do you have a camera? I used to photograph all my work.
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:icongrounde:
Grounde Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
Nope.
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:iconwalpurgisak:
WalpurgisAk Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Anyone who seeks the elusive Teal Deer may find them in great numbers alongside a peculiar subspecies of Fanfictors in the odd realm of AlternateHistory.com. AH.com is full of people who like writing FanFics (of a sort) for real life! Inspired by the likes of Livy, Hawthorne, Twain ,Churchill (yes, that Churchill) Welles, Verne, and Heinlein, lovers of history and What-if scenarios of all kinds gather together here to pontificate, discuss, write and spin entirely new realms of alternative history.

Right now, I'm perusing a particularly interesting Timeline ([link]) In which Francis II of France manages to have a child with Mary of Scotland before dieing. The child, Henri, ends up being heir apparent to the thrones of Scotland, France and England (Elisabeth I still refuses to take a husband) and will probably eventually Henry the I, III, AND IX. Utterly fascinating and engrossing, and actually gives a lot of information about the actual events of that time period.

I know not if you enjoy that sort of thing, but if you are, at least come take a look!


... I just realised that my whole comment sounds like an Ad.
It honestly was not intended as such. I usually dont even talk about AH.com to people not on it, but it's late, and you seem like the sort person who might be interested in taking a look, at least...
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:icontheconsultinggunner:
TheConsultingGunner Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013
This sounds really interesting!
Reply
:iconwalpurgisak:
WalpurgisAk Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2013
Oh it is! come join us!:
[link]

One of us! one of us!
Reply
:iconarkansandragon:
arkansandragon Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
This a great series. :D Hope I can find the book when it comes out. Just wondering though, what does "LULZ" look like anyway? O_o Some type of grass?

And when did it switch from "lol" to "LULZ"? O_O
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
The book will be available here, and possibly another online retail account I'll set up, which will be linked to heavily from here.

Imagine things like cat pictures and memes are grass.
LULZ is the fat that the grass gets processed into, by the LULZcow and other internet animals.
Reblogs and shares are like the poop, which is quickly turned back into grass.
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:iconarkansandragon:
arkansandragon Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012
Oh ok, I get it now. Thanks. :)

Btw, what do you think FanFiction authors would look like? A sub-species of Role-player, maybe? Or a different species all together? And then there're also Beta Readers, who are often fanfic authors themselves.

I happen to be all three, but one thing I've noticed among the authors is that we often get pounced on by something called "Plot Bunnies". Never seen one myself, but I've heard they look like red-eyed white bunnies with mouths full of fangs! O_O
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Different family altogether, but with many analogous features.

They're second-layer content seeders. First layer content-seeders make original content (fiction), second layers make content richer/more meta by adding more (fan fiction). Beta-reading is a reciprocal behavior used to keep the heard close. Plot bunnies are a fungus-like symbiont creature that help the fan-artists (writers are artists too) produce more content (and thus get more reviews, their chief food source), but too many can be taxing on a single individual.

Role-players produce content as a side-effect of their mating behavior, not for review-farming purposes. Sort of how bower birds build nests to attract mates, and ants build them to live in.
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:iconarkansandragon:
arkansandragon Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Oh. :) That makes a lot more sense. Thanks! :D
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:iconbrittishh:
Brittishh Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I find that sometimes, Teal Deers are good at outsmarting trolls, even without their forests of text to protect them. I once saw a teal deer who had wandered far from its natural habitat ;) The trolls were cunning, but the deer had real smarts. It was not confused by the trolls' persistent and fairly smart (for a troll) attacks. In fact, a LULZ cow and a Galloping Random somehow distracted the troll, probably because of the nutritious LULZ. It's strange how these species can find odd ways to work together once and a while...
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Most Teal deer are too nimble for all but the most experienced of trolls. Odd though, that the troll was attacking it in the first place- the species are often quite co-operative. Good thing it went after the Lulzcow though, those are severely over-populated and need culling at all opportunities.
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:iconbrittishh:
Brittishh Featured By Owner Nov 12, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I hadn't realized that it was so unusual. And I agree entirely about Lulzcows- there are far too many of them on the internet.
Reply
:icondevildart:
Devildart Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm honestly curious if a site such as tvtropes help these animals or is it just an area where those willing to learn and explore get sucked in to rarely ever escape (not that they would mind you)
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Parts of TV tropes are very good habitat for them, other parts less so.
It's a strange forest.
Reply
:iconextraintelligence:
Extraintelligence Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Very informative! I do like this quite a lot.

And remember folks: Teal Deer need room to frolic, so make sure to plant your textual forrest with enough space for them to move! (In other words, even a TL;DR reader will avoid posts without proper paragraphing.)

Also, I noticed that you neglected to mention the symbiosis that the Teal Deer share with the Go-To and the Troll. Teal Deer are naturally very shy, even avoiding members of their own species. Obviously, this results in problems with procreation. However, they see the Go-To as a beacon of light and will regularly migrate great distances to reach one they know and trust. Not only does the Go-To act as a hub for them to meet at, but also as a sort of "migration director," guiding the Teal Deer to new forrests. (This is necessary for their survival; Teal Deer can only consume the freshest of information, and will quickly starve if they stay in the same forrest for too long.)

One may think the Teal Deer would make easy prey for the Troll, but this is not the case. Trolls tend to be intimidated by text forrests, and will generally go to great lengths to avoid them. A young, ambitious troll may attempt to make a meal out of a Teal Deer, but this usually results in the herd dashing back into the forrest, or more rarely, with the troll gored on the ends of the dominant males antlers.

These symbioses work both ways. The droppings of Teal Deer contain highly nutritious information for the normally carnivorious trolls. This provides them with the raw materials needed to bait their infamous ambush traps (commonly known as "Troll baiting"). Due to the great deal of migration the Teal Deer make, a pack of trolls may follow them in search of new prey. They also serve to protect the Teal Deer from other predators.

Finally, should a Go-To feel that it is in danger or in need of a change of scenery, Teal Deer are usually more than willing to take it someplace new.
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
1. Sorry for taking forever to get back to you, I needed an evening where I was free and cognizant enough to reply properly.

2. Actually, Trolls rarely hunt Teal Deer. They are far too nimble (and you're right about the horns too) and being that they are serious, studious creatures, don't contain any of the trolls Vital LULZ. You are correct that most trolls avoid text forests, but there are specialized species of Troll that thrive in text forestsThese "Text-trolls" hunt Mis-Informants, LULZ cattle (which wander into the forests and get lost), rules monkeys, and the occasional rabid Teal deer.

Common and text-trolls both feed on the wisdom of Teal-deer and Go-tos, but often manage herds of the cervine (usually by chasing all other predators from the area and occasionally bringing them fresh forage to be processed). The go-to, being the more gregarious creature, is often found in packs of common trolls on the open plains where it receives both protection and a wider range of experiences, which will make it's annual breeding escapades more successful.These troll-based migrations are far more common than teal-deer based ones.

Go-to and teal deer have similar rutting cycles in text forests, so you may be right about the Go-to's cycle triggering the elusive teal-deer's.
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:iconextraintelligence:
Extraintelligence Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh dear, I spelled "Forest" wrong, didn't I? That's what I get for reading it off the cover of a book. This is quite humiliating.

Also, you make it seem that my statements were contradictory to the truth with the use of "actually" to begin your first sentence in part 2. However, there is little alteration in the base information between our individual theses. I find this rather confusing, could you please help me figure out what I'm missing?

Also, I can hardly consider myself a professional. I've barely even begun to study in the field of internet ecology, whereas you have obviously (and I'm being quite sincere,) been studying for a significant amount of time.

On a final note, I didn't plant a tree in the forest with my first comment, did I? Well, here it is.

"As the power of modern computers grows alongside our understanding of the human brain, we move ever closer to making some pretty spectacular science fiction into reality. Imagine transmitting signals directly to someone's brain that would allow them to see, hear or feel specific sensory inputs. Consider the potential to manipulate computers or machinery with nothing more than a thought. It isn't about convenience -- for severely disabled people, development of a brain-computer interface (BCI) could be the most important technological breakthrough in decades. In this article, we'll learn all about how BCIs work, their limitations and where they could be headed in the future.
The Electric Brain
The reason a BCI works at all is because of the way our brains function. Our brains are filled with neurons, individual nerve cells connected to one another by dendrites and axons. Every time we think, move, feel or remember something, our neurons are at work. That work is carried out by small electric signals that zip from neuron to neuron as fast as 250 mph [source: Walker]. The signals are generated by differences in electric potential carried by ions on the membrane of each neuron.
Although the paths the signals take are insulated by something called myelin, some of the electric signal escapes. Scientists can detect those signals, interpret what they mean and use them to direct a device of some kind. It can also work the other way around. For example, researchers could figure out what signals are sent to the brain by the optic nerve when someone sees the color red. They could rig a camera that would send those exact signals into someone's brain whenever the camera saw red, allowing a blind person to 'see' without eyes."

Courtesy of HowStuffWorks.com
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:iconallison-beriyani:
Allison-beriyani Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
If it makes you feel better, I didn't notice.

Herp Derp Editing Errors. I didn't mean to come off as a jerk or anything, that "actually" should read "In my observations". Sorry for any offense.
The main difference I was pointing out was that there are trolls that have specialized symbiotic relationships with teal deer, and that go-to do not secret themselves away in the forests (I find them all over the place, but often guarded by packs of trolls or sometimes-aggressive flocks of Forumae). Beyond that, I was adding my experiences to your theories, which are largely supportive.

I wouldn't consider myself a professional either- just a hobbyist with far too much time and a few guesses. Your research into the Gamer phylum far exceeds my own.

As for your tree: Am I wrong in thinking that that's how cochlear implants work? I'm also pretty sure I saw a program featuring a guy who had a prototype of those glasses discussed, though the stimulation were being fed into his optic nerve, not his brain, and even then, it was only light-dark.

The future is here and it's awesome.
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