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Allison's RPG Rules 222-

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222. The Diplomacy skill is not for getting surprise rounds of combat. As in "it is our humble request that we find a way to peaceably and this long standing- screw it, FIREBALL!"

223. My Edge of the Empire campaign needs more plot than letting the players suffer the consequences of their poor decisions. Oh wait, no it doesn’t.

224. When the party’s ship is Car-jacked by the local mob and held on a dreadnaught, The party needs a better plan than “Fly up there and ask for it back. With fists.”

225. Don’t try to cheat the Wookiee out of his share of Fight Club Money.

226. When the party stumbles across a stash of illicit drugs, their first instinct should be to sell them, not sample them.

227. A nemesis-level bounty hunter is bad enough for the party, no need to give him the voice of Salad Fingers. (Don’t google it)

228. If a player quits the game after the first session for passive aggressive reasons, leaving the party without a really necessary class; they can handle it better than leaving his naked, drugged ass in a scummy bar bathroom on Nar Shadda with a faceless corpse next to him.

229. I don’t usually condone PVP in my games, but the guy acting as a spy for the Empire is kind of asking for it.

230. Fetish Lolita Tea Parties have no place in the Star Wars universe.

231. If the Wookiee has to wait in the Ship because this is an Imperial spaceport, We don’t need to crack the windows for him.

232. The Wookiee doesn’t need jerky treats or a new Chew toy.

233. There are no Wookiee/Corgi hybrids.

234. There will be no more speculation on whether or not Taylor Swift is a Sith Lord.

235. Diagnoa do not regenerate from their severed limbs and the players should stop giving the GM ideas.

236. I need to come up with better ideas for hostile planets than ‘Space Australia’.

237. When stealing data from the Empire, they will notice if we replace it with Hutt porn.

238. The party will not attempt to use Cloud City as a mount in a Jousting match with a Star Destroyer ever again, even if it totally worked and made Tarkin literally shit himself.

239. After the party survives a harrowing fight with a giant-size oceanic crustacean for the fate of Tipoca City, the grateful Kaminoans need to come up with a better reward than cauldrons of melted butter and Old Bay.

240. If both the Players and the GM deem it necessary for a Star Wars game to have a sanity meter, we’re doing it right.

241. I will keep my maniacal laughter about Beastiary 4 to a minimum. Even if it does contain The Elder Gods. And Godzilla. And Mecha. And Clockwork dragons… AHAHAHAHA…

242. If told to make a level 20 character for a one-shot, I won’t take one of all 19 classes and the advanced template, even if it gives me ridiculous bonus damage and stealth scores.

243. I will not build Smokey the Were-Bear.

244. If I build Smokey the Were-Bear, his ‘normal’ identity really shouldn’t be a chaotic evil Pyromaniac Gnome.

245. There is no such thing as a Were-gnome.

246. No Licking Unicorns.  I thought the table understood that, but apparently not.

247. Jabberwockies do not preform mating dances.

248. Jub-Jub birds totally do though.

249. There will be no further speculation on the mating practices of bandersnatches or other Wonderland beings.

250. No rolling a perception check to see if I failed a perception check.
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This is my List of rules complied over the last few months, based on my game-play, the antics of other players, the trolling activities of our GM, and the writings Of Mr. Welch: theglen.livejournal.com/89715.… My hope is that someday my list will be as long as his.

No GMs, or Players were harmed in the making of this list.
Lots of NPCs were though.
© 2013 - 2024 Allison-beriyani
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ArrentKnave's avatar
Space Australia, how horrific.